Wildbreeze in O-Town: July 2017

District After Interviews

Hey there kids.

Here comes the hard part.

So I've done my darndest to keep my emails upbeat and focused on the good. Because that's what missions are is good. So much good. And the good is what I want to remember.

But it's been pretty rough, too. For a majority of my mission, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety. There were times and, heck, there were transfers, where I straight just didn't want to get out of bed and face another day. That is so hard as a missionary. I had the blessing of a good counselor and a good psychiatric nurse practitioner (I still hate saying that because it's so long). And so so SO many people surrounding and supporting me always, for which I shall ever be grateful. And it was looking up for a while! But I've started to slip back down and that sucks. And after a day where my thoughts really scared me, and after an amazing blessing, and after a good interview with President Clark... It was decided between President, myself, and the Lord that my service has been acceptable to Heavenly Father, that He is proud of me, and that it was time for me to return home.

So I am no longer in Florida and I miss it like crazy, but I know that there's good ahead. So much good. I've still got myldsmail.net email for the moment, but in future weeks send your weeklies and such to my personal email, because I ABSOLUTELY still want to talk to y'all.

WRITE ME THINGS. I'm also totally down to be the designated googler of things for anyone.

(Oh and if you're saintly or something and want to send letters, write to my home address.)

Awright so let's talk about this week. At least one more weekly. Not promising that I won't be one of those RMs that updates you about my mundane not-a-missionary life every week.

So Tuesday was interviews.

I've already discussed that.

I was a mess, haha. But I really truly did feel peaceful about it all through that day, which was a blessing. Things I've learned: peace does not mean that things won't be hard. Got all the hugs and all the boosts from all the people I love. President allowed me to decide when I would leave (within reason), and at the time I chose to wait until the end of the transfer (so, tomorrow).

THEN WE WENT OUT AND MISSIONARIED.

We saw Tamika and she had zero time because she's always super busy. And we asked if we could just stop by for like 15 minutes at a time and she was like "oh yeah actually that's perfect". And we were like "here's this Book of Mormon." And she was like "I'll make time to read it even if it's just 5 minutes a day." Good job, Tamika. You do that.

We helped Sister Allocco with her laundry which took an age. We walked through thunder and lightning with a blind lady to get to the laundry room. But we met a cool guy who seemed interested, and Sister Allocco invited him to church! You go, Sister Allocco!

Sister Sorensen and I then had a movie night. Watched the Restoration and she painted my nails. Bless companions. <3

Wednesday we had SUCH a good lesson with a less active, Brother Driggers. He's never read the Book of Mormon through, just random chapters that missionaries had assigned. Because of that, he never understood what he was reading! Sister Hawthorne, the member we had with us, bore awesome testimony. He said he thought it would definitely make more sense to read it from the beginning. Woo!

We had dinner with my FAVORITE PEOPLE, the Cordells. They just gave us cereal. In mixing bowls. It was fantastic. I love them. And their whippet, Passenger.

Saw my dear Khelseigh and told her I'd be leaving. She's sad. D: But now I'll be able to text her and bother her constantly about reading her scriptures.

Thursday I decided that I needed to leave sooner. Heavenly Father left the decision up to me. Which I always find rough. Like, just tell me what to do; I'll just be a slothful and not wise servant. :P

Leaving sooner meant flying to Utah, not California. Because all of my family was here from all over the US, for my nephew's baby blessing.

So I packed until I wanted to scream because I hate packing. Packing is the worst. 0/10 do not recommend.

We went out for a little while. Saw a lady named Joyce who we met the day before. She actually met with missionaries in 1995! Her adorable grandkids were a massive distraction. And then she said something to the effect of, "I just wouldn't want to ask God about this." ooookay.

We saw Sister Trent and my spirit animal Violet the chihuahua. She told us that she's pretty much less active because she's lazy.

She was SUPER active and was overburdened because she was willing to do anything. And it burnt her out. We got her to commit to JUST start praying regularly again. Have fun with that one, Sisters.

We did weird panda face masks. Said goodbye to the Corders.

Awoke at some kind of ridiculous hour and drove down to the mission home with the STLs. They came to the airport too. Got to give a last hug to my dear companion and my dear mission mahm. I was feeling kind of lost and alone and I heard, "She's a missionary! We're members too! Headed to Salt Lake? We might be on the same flight." Guys, Heavenly Father never leaves us alone. Never ever. Even though walking through a busy place without a companion is WEIRD AS HECK.

While standing in the looong TSA lines, the woman behind me, Nancy, asked if I was from Florida. Then asked what I was doing in Florida. Then noticed my tag and asked if I was a Mormon. yessssss. Got to talk to her about how our beliefs are different (she was surprised at how similar they were), and she asked about heaven so I talked about the Kingdoms of Glory. She LOVED the idea of the three Kingdoms. "So you basically come out and talk to people because you want them to reach that highest Kingdom. And also to make their lives better here." YES NANCY, YES. So golden. Gave her a Plan of Salvation pamphlet. Here's hoping.

Then I rushed to my gate because they were close to the end of boarding. o_o And sat on a plane for hours. The person in front of me watched Beauty and the Beast and I snuck a glance every now and then.

Another tender mercy, a couple on the flight with me stopped me, asked if I was returning and where I was from, and thanked me for my service. <3

I came down the escalator to ALMOST ALL OF MY FAMILY (except a brother at work and a brother-in-law at scout camp). OH MY GOODNESS. Hugs and babies and baby hugs.

Family Greeting Me

The past couple of days have been lots of family and getting to know my nieces and nephews that have grown so much. And trying to find a purpose. Because missionaries and vacations don't mix. Haha.

I miss Florida a ton. I seriously just want to knock a door. But I know that Heavenly Father's plans are better than mine, and His timing is perfect. I would not trade my mission for anything.

What's been running through my mind is just all of the memories of the past 9 months. The good, the bad, the ridiculous. And it all just adds up to this conglomerate of SO much good. So much. Been saying a lot of thankful prayers.

I encourage you all to do that do. Just kneel down in gratitude for all that the Lord has blessed you with. I promise it's a lot.

Thank you all for being my friends and family. I love you more than you know. God be with you till we meet again.

Love,

Sister Stevenson

What a district. I don't even look like I was crying.